Drona

I wont beat around the bush this time – this movie sucks !!! I have never felt so bad in my life to have paid Rs 250 to watch a movie – this movie. I missed the opportunity to watch Love Story 2050, but I am sure even that wouldn’t have been as big a disappointment.

To be sure, this movie isn’t the worst ever in an absolute scale – but the unfailing way this movie continues to disappoint is just too much to bear. You come into the movie expecting a superhero movie – from the trailers you know the basic gist – hero doesn’t know his powers and must realize his true calling and then save the world. Our basic superhero script.

But the implementation is SO BAD – if I ever get to meet Goldie Behl, I swear I am going to ask for my money back. The first half of the movie is completely morose – Abhishek Bachhan living a sad life with a loud-mouthed aunty and her wicked son. Then the villain Kay Kay Menon attacks him – which is foiled by his out-of-sight bodyguards - who then break into a jig - and after finishing the gyrations, try to convince him of his legacy. Now the realization routine is a regular in most superhero movies – Spiderman etc. But the singularly sleep-inducing way it is done in Drona is definitely a first.

I mean lets compare it with Krrish – did you fall asleep while Hrithik was romancing Priyanka Chopra ? No, right ? Behind me, a guy actually started snoring before the interval – and there were enough jeers from the rest of the audience to show it was a widespread feeling.

The second half is just slightly better – atleast there are some action scenes – but the action scenes just induce more yawns. In every superhero movie, you expect some special effects sequence which makes you go – WOW !!! In Drona, there is none – not the sand scene, not the train sequence – nothing !! This has to be the most boring action scenes shot ever !!!

There are so many irritating/laughable things in the movie that I will probably keep writing for half an hour but I will try highlighting a few

• The Nazguls – a completely copy from Lord of the Rings – fight jocularly and never once, look anything but a bunch of underpaid extras wearing black capes rather than the fearsome warriors they are supposed to be


• The blue petals and the purple chest/conch-shell – throughout the movie Abhishek Bachhan keeps getting help from these blue rose petals flying around. I can imagine an eight year old girl dreaming of being led on her way by pretty blue petals swirling in front of her, but a superhero ? C’mon !!!! Same with the purple conch shell and the purple box – they are again what an eight year old girl would design – all the crores of rupees wasted on the movie and that’s the best design they could come up with ??????? Want more ? The walls of Raazpur – orange with purple doors !!Take it from me - Goldie Behl is gay !!


• Jaya Bachhan – WHY doesn’t she quit acting?? She looks so gross with her round football like face – and her standard expressions!! Thank god the director turned her into stone very soon so that we didn’t have to bear her for longer

But the biggest failure of the movie I think was the character of Drona himself – I have never seen such a loser superhero. He can do nothing himself – everytime he has to be helped by the swirling blue petals. A superhero is supposed to accomplish things by himself !! First, he loses the rice grain with the information on it. Then he loses Priyanka Chopra with the conch. Then he loses the duel to Kay Kay Menon and lies defeated …. I mean what DOES he do ?????

Good things in the movie ? Well, Priyanka Chopra looks pretty with her kohl lined eyes. And the title track is kinda nice. And … ummm … that’s it I guess.